Recently a trend on social media has been the #metoo trend where women come forth about telling their stories about sexual harassment, assault, and abuse. I wish to add my voice to the mix.
#Metoo I say this in solidarity with women and women who have been abused. I support and applaud you telling your story’s and the courage it took you to do that. I also support those who do not tell their story. The choice of when and where to tell is up to you. I encourage it, but it’s your story it’s your choice.
#Metoo I support the survivors of child molestation who have come forth with their stories as well and let you know that you are not alone and I am one of you.
I have told my story here: I wish I could offer it for free, but I’m not sure how to do that.
#Metoo I am also a victim of sexual harassment at work. This story is about women, but as men, we can help by sharing our experiences to show solidarity with the cause. It will also help to get all harassment out in the open.
So here are those stories:
The first example is one of unwanted physical contact. On a job a met a man by the name of Miguel, he seemed to take an instant liking to me and on our very first meeting, he invited me to Las Vegas with him. This made me extremely uncomfortable, so I said no. After that, he continued to presser me to hang out with him after work and even asked me to bring pornography to work so he could see it. He began hugging me, no in a sexual way but it was still very personal and I didn’t like it. I tried to ask him to stop, but he didn’t so I complained to my manager. They mediated, and the harassment stopped.
Note: these were the actions of an individual, In my experience, this is not typical behavior from the LGBTQIA community. I shouldn’t have to say that, but often things get twisted around and taken out of context. To be honest I don’t know this mans sexual orientation nor do I know if advances were sexual in nature. Only that they made me uncomfortable.
Toxic masculinity harassment.
This is a form of harassment that is seldom talked about because most men don’t see it as a form of harassment, but it is. On multiple occasions, I have been pressured to engage in harassing or demining behaviors towards women. I’ve also been told that I am weak and unmanly for my views on women and life.
Some examples are the word of the day. On one job upon seeing me a former manager would loudly ask me “What’s the word of the day?” The word of the day was ‘Poontang,’ and I was supposed to announce it proudly to the world that the only redeemable quality of women is their genitalia. Naturally, I didn’t say it. So he said it for me.
This made me uncomfortable in a number of way’s, one I did not want people to think I was associated with this behavior, for both work and personal reasons. I did not support it and I did not want to be seen as supporting it even passively. I also did not want to get fired because he said it and people assumed I was a willing participant. Two I was afraid of how he would react, he was my boss, what would he do if I asked him to stop? It took me some time to work up the courage but I did, and he stopped.
This is a great example of male privilege. Because I am a guy and my opinion matters, even if they don’t agree with it, they still except it. Women often do no get this kind of respect. There are some examples where I wasn’t respected, but this isn’t about me.
So again for all those who told their stories, thank you. I hope what I have shared here helps you in your cause.